Showing posts from February, 2016

i don't like my child

I could feel the tears starting to well up in my eyes and that familiar lump start to form in my throat.  As I looked around the room, I knew I needed to share my struggle.  The words burned deeper into my soul... I was a horrible mother.  I feared speaking but the words came spilling out before I had time to stop them.

I don't like my son

And just like that,  my secret was out in the open.  Out in a room full of women I respected.  Women who loved God and who I was sure had never had a feeling like this before.  I mean,  what mom says she doesn't like her son.  The dam that had held the tears back broke and I couldn't stop them from falling.  I looked around the room and surprisingly I did not see faces of utter disgust at what I had just said.  No, instead I saw something else.  Could it be compassion?  love?  understanding?  My soul caught a glimpse of light.  And then the mom sitting across from me spoke words that I will never forget...

I went through a season just lik…

Sonya Lasagna... gluten free style

When you are growing up it is just an automatic rule that children must make your name into a rhyme.  For some children this can be an unfortunate experience.  When your first name is Sonya there is only one possible rhyme to make.  Sonya Lasagna.  Thankfully, I have always loved lasagna and so do my kids (who now find the rhyme hilarious to say on lasagna night).  Going gluten free does not mean you can never have lasagna again.  I have found Jovial brand noodles to be a great substitute.  I always double this recipe and make two at once for the following reasons....   1.  My crew can easily polish off a 9x13 pan of lasagna and sometimes dig into the second one.  2.  Lasagna makes the best left overs because it actually tastes better the second day (if you plan ahead you can even make it one day and eat it the next... seriously it is always better the second day). 3.  Lasagna is the perfect all in one meal to share with another family 4.  If you are already cooking you might as well…

homeschooling... more than surviving

After a few hard months this fall,  we decided to take our daughter out of public school and try home schooling instead.  I made the decision in November that come January 1 she would be home.  I wanted to have everything planned and organized and figured out. I stressed over what in the world I was getting myself into and how this was all going to work and would I be able to manage everything and and and and... the list went on.   But for Elie, every day that she went to school was one more day of stress for her and as a result, the rest of the family.  I have a friend who has taught her children at home for many, many years.  She gave me the best advice.     Bring her home.  Read to her. Play with her.  Spend time together doing daily life.  And I promise you will see a difference.  Even before you start any curriculum or lesson plans.  Just bringing her home will make a difference.  
And so I jumped.  After Thanksgiving break, Elie officially became a home school kid.  For the mont…

next phase of Elie's treatment.... i need your help

While she was in the treatment area of the office, the other kids and I waited in the front lobby.  The big kids were home from school on a snow day.  It was the perfect moment to explain to all of them this next phase of Elie's treatment.  She was going to have a new contraption on her face and I needed their support to help her through this season.

She was born with a cleft palate.  This means that she had a huge hole in the roof of her mouth.  At the age of three, she had surgery to fix her palate in China.  We have had so many compliments on the quality of her surgery that I am sure a generous American doctor performed the surgery.  It is very common for children to need more than one surgery.  However we would like to avoid that if at all possible.  One of the ways we are doing that is speech therapy and the other is what brought us to the orthodontist office this morning.

I held my breath as she walked back into the waiting room and prayed.  The other kids immediately gree…