learning to walk.... again

When we were in China I noticed that Elie's hips were not okay.  In the course of our two weeks together prior to traveling home, I tried to get in pieces of a physical exam whenever it worked.  It may seem odd but that's what you do when you are a nurse.  I realized the first time I rotated her legs that her hip joint was not okay.  The first week we were home an xray confirmed my suspicions... her femur and her pelvis were not functioning properly.  The orthopedic surgeon said surgery was not an "if" but a "when".   And I began to dread the time the "when" would arrive.

The idea of going through surgery with Elie was not appealing.  Our relationship was often rocky and her emotional health at times unstable.  Would she regress?  Would the surgery trigger old memories?  Would the anger and screaming take over?  Would our other children survive another change, another season of stress?  Would the surgery make things worse?  And on and on the questions go. 

Then this summer the surgeon said the "when" had arrived.  It was time to jump.  And so, we prayed.  We prayed that the surgery would be successful.  We prayed that Elie would recover quickly.  We prayed that instead of regression she would experience healing.  We prayed that this would bond our entire family together.  We prayed that whatever would come God would be glorified. 

I have walked my entire life with God and I know that not every prayer is answered with a "yes".  But this time He has really done beyond what we could ask or imagine.  I wrote a post a few weeks ago,she chose me,  about one of the gifts from this surgery.  But the answers go beyond her chosing me as her mama.  Because of this surgery I have had to cradle her like a baby for months every time she needed to move locations.  It is something that adoption books tell you to do to promote bonding but something that is difficult to do in reality with a seven year old girl.  Because of this surgery I have been applying different combinations of essential oils and have found Frankincense to make a huge difference in her emotions.  Because of this surgery, I have seen my other children step up to help and show love and compassion in new ways.  Because of this surgery, I have a new confindence and peace in my own spirit.  Because of this surgery, I have been front row to a total miracle.  Elie's recovery is far from over with many more obstacles to overcome.  But today we are celebrating this huge milestone. 

And because of this surgery, I have been given a few redos that I missed in her life the first time around.  Today she stood and tried to walk for the first time.  I wasn't there when she tried this at the age of 2, but I am thankful that I was witness to it today.   It's a little hard to hear but Elie says "I didn't know I was going to walk by Christmas."  Best present ever.  

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