freedom from the pit
|painting by Elizabeth Hammonds|
He chooses to take me in.
Sometimes I run to meet Him.
Other times I come kicking.
He is ready to handle it all.
His love is not dependent on me loving Him back.
He loves because He is Love.
I believe He is my Father.
I accept the invitation.
He gives me a new name, a new inheritance, a new family.
His gifts are unending.
His plan for me perfect.
And yet I wonder about my life from before.
I hold onto some of the past because it is what I have always known.
It is familiar and in a strange way comfortable.
Something in me pulls me back to the ugly.
Pulls me away from the splendor of His lavish love.
Back to the dark pit.
He tells me not to go.
He provides a way out.
But His love for me will not force me to choose Him.
It makes no sense to choose the pit.
I don't start out desiring the pit.
But I catch a glimpse of the glamour at the top of the hole.
I think I can just get close and then walk away again.
I am drawn to a place I know I should not be.
Once I take a step over the edge, the momentum only grows.
Falling faster and faster into blackness.
I begin to wonder, "How did I get here, back to this pit?"
Then the panic begins to set in.
I am desperately clawing the sides to climb out on my own.
All the while His hand is reaching down to pull me up.
If only I would lift up my eyes to see it.
But my gaze is consumed by what is right in front of me.
My circumstances wrap their tentacles around my heart.
And then the moment of freedom comes.
His sword cuts through the tangled vines seeking to consume my soul.
Written on the sword words of life.
"My eyes are continually toward the LORD, For He will pluck my feet out of the net" (ps 25:15)
I look up and there He is.
I see His face.
How could I have missed it this whole time?
I see in His eyes no condemnation, only love.
A love that rescues me and sets me free.
A love that frees me from the pit.