Goodbye 33

When I was a little girl I used to dream of what my life would be like when I grew up.  I wanted to travel the world, work as a zookeeper, star in a talk show, smuggle bibles into the eastern block, be a famous recording artist, working in a third world health clinic and on it went.  And though my dreams of my life's occupation changed from season to season, there were a few dreams that always remained.... I wanted to be a mother to a house full of children whose faces were all different and whose father was my best friend and their number one fan and he would read them bedtime stories every night with kisses and i love yous.

Today I say goodbye to 33 and my heart is full.  I am a child of God. From my first thought, my first memory I knew the name of Jesus.  This never meant that life has been a bed of roses.  There have been times of life when the darkness, loneliness and heartache have sought to consume me, but His love always rescued me from the pit.  When the nets and traps that I allowed myself to get caught in twisted and pulled my soul, His truth saved me from being overwhelmed.  In His goodness and grace, He brought Kevin and I together and answered the desire of my heart... to be married to a man who loves  God and loves people,  a relationship filled with both passion and friendship.  Through Kevin's love, I understood more fully how my God loves me and it has taught me so much about my own heart as well.  And my house is filling up with a rainbow of little faces, all children born of my heart but from many different wombs.  And in this house I get to watch my incredible husband rock babies, throw baseballs, have tea parties and at the end of the day snuggle with bed time stories, kisses, and i love yous.

God has blessed me with an incredible, ever growing family.  We have so many people who love and pray for us every day.  So many sisters who have walked alongside me these past few years with all the joys and heartaches of life.  There have been seasons where I have nothing left to give and yet still continue to receive so much love and support.  I am blessed to experience, both inside the walls of our house and outside our home, that family means more than sharing DNA, it is a choice of the heart.  I am thankful for those who have stuck beside me and helped me to discover who God created me to be.  It has not always been pretty but you have taught me that in real friendship there is also a lot of grace.

So far I am enjoying my 30s.  I know more now who I am and who I am not.  I know more now who I want to be and who I do not want to be.  And though I realize the road ahead is not going to be easy, I am excited to be on it until the day He takes me home and thankful for those who are on this journey with me.  Thank you for being a part of my life, for drawing me to the Father, for allowing me to share my heart with you and for doing the same in return.