memories of the past fuel dreams for the future

I spent many summers sitting on this swing dreaming of what someday would bring.  I am now living in that someday. It is a beautiful moment when life circles around and you get the chance to walk in a memory.  There are pieces of that young girl still living in my soul.  In this place it is easy to reconnect with who she was and remember the passions that burned in her heart. The road between that spot and where I am today was often the road less traveled, at times the road unwanted, but overall beyond what I imagined in all those hours spent in this swing. I think about all the stones of remembrance along the way. God's love and mercy and grace and faithfulness overwhelm me.

So often I get too caught up in what I am not and what dreams have not come to pass. But in this spot.  Oh, in this spot I see the incredible goodness of God and I am undone. What a life! Twenty- three years of memories.  Dreams of love. Dreams of travel. Dreams of nursing. Dreams of ministry. Dreams of motherhood. Dreams of adoption. Now no longer dreams but my reality. And so now I sit and dream of the next twenty-three. I know more now. I know how difficult living out your dreams can be. I know the discomfort. I know the heartache. I know I have limitations. But I also have a greater understanding that God loves me. Oh, how He loves me! Holy Spirit lives in me and leads me and can do all things through me.

Life on earth is not infinite. There is no time to waste. But that doesn't mean silence and being still are a waste of time. Life does not need to be lived at a constant full sprint. I would love to talk to the girl who sat on this swing. I want her to know that in her quest to be a pitcher she needs to find time to feed her soul or she will just become a bucket with a hole. I want to pour out all the wisdom gained over the last twenty-three years but I know that true wisdom comes from time spent in the valley. There is so much beauty that comes out of days in the valley, in the failures, in the heartaches, in experiencing the hard road. God is good to walk with us through every moment and turn our ashes into beauty. I have experienced so many amazing things, but the story is not over yet.

I am thankful for a glimpse down memory lane. I am thankful for everyday that led to now. And I can feel the excitement and adventure of a young girl's heart awaken my soul to the possibilities held in the days ahead. Today I welcome year 38 with open arms.


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