the realities of being a child with a "special need"

I could hear the crying before I saw her face.  As she turned the corner, her brother was right on her heels.  An ugly crying meltdown is not an unusual occurrence and generally has resulted from frustration or an overreaction to something small.   Here we go.

But this time it wasn't something insignificant.  She couldn't get out any words in between the sobbing.  Thankfully she had her brother to interpret for her.

We were in a new environment.  A party with some of their Daddy's friends.  All of the kids had gathered to play together outside.  They started to play some kind of game that required running.  A girl, who had made herself the boss of the group, decided that my daughter was too slow and uncoordinated to be able to participate and was told this loudly in front of all of these new friends.  Yes, the sobbing was genuine this time and the result of having her own fears  and frustrations acknowledge and proclaimed in front of a crowd.

The lion came out in me to protect and defend.  We hunted down the mean girl and attempted to work things out.  I tried to get my girl to reengage but the rejection had stolen all her desire to play with the other children.  It is not the first time this scenerio has played out and I know it will not be the last.  I know it hurts her fragile spirit.  She has experienced more in her 8 years than I think most of us will in a lifetime.  I keep it together and usually fall apart when I get a chance to be by myself.  It is just hard.

So many times when I was expecting I was asked the same question...."Do you know what you are having?"   We always keep the gender a surprise.  So with no answer to their first question, they would always follow up with something like this..."Well, as long as they are healthy"  or "As long as they have 10 fingers and 10 toes".   Or what?  What if they are not healthy?   What if they don't have any fingers or any toes??  Then what??  It may seem insignificant or just something that people say, but I think it speaks to the heart behind this entire issue.  As long as a culture sees someone with a special need as less desirable,  those who have special needs will be treated with a measure of cruelty.  Children learn how to treat others by watching their parents and listening to their conversations.  If we want our children to love and accept others no matter their ability level, they have to see it being lived out as an example.

November is Adoption Awareness month.  Our family is forever changed from 2 little girls who were labeled "Special Needs."   The road has not been easy and we are just getting started.  But the struggles are not wasted, they are part of a beautiful story.  They are a precious gift and I am humbled  and honored to be their mama.