be kind to yourself
“One of the marks of a godly woman is that she takes responsibility for her soul’s need for joy and delight. A woman is a conductor, who leads the orchestra of her surroundings in the songs and music of her life. God is a God of creativity and dimension, and so He is pleased when we co-create beauty in our own realm, through the power of His Spirit. There was some point in my life when I accepted that no one else was going to take responsibility for me, and if I didn’t take care of myself, my soul would die a slow death by exhaustion, boredom, loneliness and mediocrity.” ~ Sally Clarkson
Can you relate to this quote from Sally Clarkson? These words resonate deeply in my soul. Especially the last line.
I reached my point this summer.
When you take a trip on an airplane, before you start your journey the stewardess first goes over all the safety tips with those on the plane. She reminds the passengers that if there is a crisis they must first put on their own oxygen mask before making sure that everyone around them has also put on a mask. Why? Because if you run out of oxygen you are absolutely no help to the person sitting next to you. The reasoning seems obvious, right? But how many times do we live our lives trying to do the exact opposite?
My daughter loves to help other people. When we are trying to get ready in the morning you will often find her helping her siblings get ready. And you are probably thinking, wow that sounds lovely. However, the problem is she has not yet gotten herself ready to go. This results in the following scene being played out over and over again. Everyone is ready to exit the house, except her, and now we are late because we are all waiting for her to be able to leave. In her attempts to help, she has actually created more chaos. As I tried to explain all of this to her, God revealed the plank in my own eye.
In my attempt to help everyone... my family, my friends, my neighbors, people in need all over the world, etc, etc... I had neglected something important. I had forgotten to first put on my own oxygen mask. I think it is an easy trap to fall into. The opposite problem is very easy to see in our society - people who only care for themselves. Viewing these displays of self love, our pendulum swings in the complete opposite direction. We then see taking time for our selves as being, well, self centered. Or maybe even a waste of time.
If we don't create space in our life to breathe, we will become completely useless in helping other people. I know this truth. I'm sure I could have told you this snip-it of knowledge before this summer. Now I have the personal experience to give it validity. I was gasping. We all need balance in our lives. It is not being selfish, it is a necessary foundation to being available to serve and love others.
God has placed some really big dreams in my heart and He desires to do that for all of us. The wonderful thing is He wants to accomplish them through us. When we fail to see the truth in that statement, we start to take God's calling as a to do list that we must accomplish on our own strength and our joy is replaced by anxiety. We all have different bandwidths of capabilities, but at some point every human being will hit a wall. This is why Jesus said, "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."
We are all created differently. Isn't that awesome?! Many daily rhythms needed are the same for all humanity, but there are others that are unique to each creation. Take time to discover what gives you life and what creates beauty in your soul. Here are a few things that I have put into place in my own life. I share them not as a to do list but as a starting point for your own creative thinking.
Regular sleeping habits, both going to bed and getting up
Wake before the rest of the house for time of quiet with God
Daily moments outside for fresh air and sunshine
Time to dig in the dirt
Running, biking or walking (have at least one run a week without any children)
Put my phone and computer away when I am with my family
Schedule time to go out by myself
Memorize Scripture
Have God's Word open and available in the kitchen all day
Read something for fun
Take time to write
Arrange medical appointments with what works for our family - it's okay to say no or reschedule
Stop chasing people, but focus instead on the people desiring to be in relationship with me and my family
Let things go, 99% of the things that I get upset over really don't matter long term and just steal the joy of the moment
AND remember to LIVE
A dear friend sent me a note during another stressful time in my life. One line has forever stuck with me... Be kind to yourself.
Can you relate to this quote from Sally Clarkson? These words resonate deeply in my soul. Especially the last line.
I reached my point this summer.
When you take a trip on an airplane, before you start your journey the stewardess first goes over all the safety tips with those on the plane. She reminds the passengers that if there is a crisis they must first put on their own oxygen mask before making sure that everyone around them has also put on a mask. Why? Because if you run out of oxygen you are absolutely no help to the person sitting next to you. The reasoning seems obvious, right? But how many times do we live our lives trying to do the exact opposite?
My daughter loves to help other people. When we are trying to get ready in the morning you will often find her helping her siblings get ready. And you are probably thinking, wow that sounds lovely. However, the problem is she has not yet gotten herself ready to go. This results in the following scene being played out over and over again. Everyone is ready to exit the house, except her, and now we are late because we are all waiting for her to be able to leave. In her attempts to help, she has actually created more chaos. As I tried to explain all of this to her, God revealed the plank in my own eye.
In my attempt to help everyone... my family, my friends, my neighbors, people in need all over the world, etc, etc... I had neglected something important. I had forgotten to first put on my own oxygen mask. I think it is an easy trap to fall into. The opposite problem is very easy to see in our society - people who only care for themselves. Viewing these displays of self love, our pendulum swings in the complete opposite direction. We then see taking time for our selves as being, well, self centered. Or maybe even a waste of time.
If we don't create space in our life to breathe, we will become completely useless in helping other people. I know this truth. I'm sure I could have told you this snip-it of knowledge before this summer. Now I have the personal experience to give it validity. I was gasping. We all need balance in our lives. It is not being selfish, it is a necessary foundation to being available to serve and love others.
God has placed some really big dreams in my heart and He desires to do that for all of us. The wonderful thing is He wants to accomplish them through us. When we fail to see the truth in that statement, we start to take God's calling as a to do list that we must accomplish on our own strength and our joy is replaced by anxiety. We all have different bandwidths of capabilities, but at some point every human being will hit a wall. This is why Jesus said, "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."
We are all created differently. Isn't that awesome?! Many daily rhythms needed are the same for all humanity, but there are others that are unique to each creation. Take time to discover what gives you life and what creates beauty in your soul. Here are a few things that I have put into place in my own life. I share them not as a to do list but as a starting point for your own creative thinking.
Regular sleeping habits, both going to bed and getting up
Wake before the rest of the house for time of quiet with God
Daily moments outside for fresh air and sunshine
Time to dig in the dirt
Running, biking or walking (have at least one run a week without any children)
Put my phone and computer away when I am with my family
Schedule time to go out by myself
Memorize Scripture
Have God's Word open and available in the kitchen all day
Read something for fun
Take time to write
Arrange medical appointments with what works for our family - it's okay to say no or reschedule
Stop chasing people, but focus instead on the people desiring to be in relationship with me and my family
Let things go, 99% of the things that I get upset over really don't matter long term and just steal the joy of the moment
AND remember to LIVE
A dear friend sent me a note during another stressful time in my life. One line has forever stuck with me... Be kind to yourself.
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