me and you... and you and you and you and you and baby makes seven
Becoming a family of seven....
Last year for Christmas Kevin bought me an awesome running jacket. It was a great gift because I had just started increasing my mileage and was looking forward to running my first marathon in 2013. "Run my first marathon" that topped the New Year's resolutions followed by learn new styles for Faith's hair, get more organized with the girl's home-school preschool, plan a vegetable garden... and on and on it went. Oh yeah I had big plans for 2013.
Kevin and I had talked about trying to have another baby. I say "try" because we did LOTS of trying to conceive #1 and #2 and figured that pattern would repeat itself. We decided to table the discussion until the summer of 2013. See, all nice and neat and planned. I picture God giggling a bit at us at this point in the story.
Christmas vacation - staycation was lovely. Originally we planned to go out of town, but decided after the crazy year we had we would stay home. We shut off everything. Phones, computer, the world. Just lots of fun time together bonding our family of 6. A week later I started feeling odd. Each run became increasingly harder and I struggled to do workouts that seemed easy just a few weeks before. Then that all too familiar feeling hit me and I knew. The test was positive, the nausea bands took their permanent place on my wrist and food became my enemy. Running was out the window. I know many women who successfully run while pregnant. I truly hoped that I would be able to do it this time around, but in my heart I knew better.
I have an amazing metabolism that is such a blessing during the non pregnant seasons of life. However it turns into a nightmare once my body starts growing a baby.
I watched the numbers on the scale drop as my belly grew and struggled with the never ending feeling of being on the teacups at Disney. Many people experience an increase in saliva in their mouths right before they vomit. I felt like I was going to vomit constantly and the saliva was a never ending fountain that made me gag even more. My bed and I became one. I missed my kids. I couldn't even get through reading one story without running for a container. Kody was the only one who could lay with me because the other three were too wiggly and would make the nausea unbearable. The raw truth: this season was pretty dark. I longed for sleep and cried when I awoke in the morning. So many people loved on my family during those months and we are all forever grateful. It is amazing now to look at London's sweet face and know that she was right there with me during that difficult time.
She has changed us forever. Every single one of us.
Growing London isolated me from my girlfriends and my normal activities. For many weeks all I had was Kevin. He became my everything and my respect for him multiplied infinitely. London has taught us what it means to have a newborn daughter and given us glimpses into Elie and Faith's beginnings. As we spend hours and hours feeding, holding and caring for London we realize more and more what we missed with Elie and Faith. This realization has changed the way parent them and our bond with all three girls has grown.
I think Kody fell in love with her the moment he found out I was pregnant. Oldest child and caretaker of the crew and, many days, me too. He has a beautiful soul that is so tender with his baby sister. He has mastered the bounce walk and can get London to settle down, which is a lifesaver for me. Kody is my constant perspective. Every time I see London in his arms I am reminded how quickly the years go by and how important it is to cherish every day with them.
London and Tyler have a connection that goes beyond the similar features. She thinks he is hilarious and he thinks she is the cutest thing in the world. In true Tyler fashion he wants to constantly be touching her and when told to back off his reply is always, "but she is just soooo cute!" He will run in after school yelling, "where's the baby, where's the baby, where's the baby". His attachment to her far exceeded my expectations.
I worried about this one. Five months home and I became pregnant. I often wonder what she must have thought about this crazy family she came into. As London grew in my belly, Elie learned about what forever family really meant. This baby would stay with us forever, she would be her sister forever... just like she would be my daughter forever. This news is always met with cheering and then me trying not to cry. Elie is a natural with holding babies after years of being responsible to care for younger children in China. She loves her little sister and was so happy that London was a girl.
The pregnancy brought up so many questions for this little four year old. Questions I didn't think I would be facing already in our journey together. Some hard talks, some tears, some joys and lots of processing of things that four year olds shouldn't have to think about. Faith has decided that she is happy that I am her mommy and she loves being a part of this family. I know that there is still healing needed in that beautiful little heart but I am thankful for the foundation we laid this year. She loves being a big sister and was actually telling people she is happy to not be the baby anymore. She is home with me this year and so she gets to spend the most time with London out of all the kids. She is learning how to be gentle with London and how to be a big helper. And I have learned that she is still only four and should not be left alone with the baby. London is in awe of Faith and loves to stare at her. I love the look London gives Faith, pure admiration. I am looking forward to seeing their friendship grow as London changes into a little girl.
2013 was a wild ride for Team Judkins. There were moments when I questioned God's timing and if we would all emotionally survive. But like most things in life, the hard times are what bond us together. It is the rough patches that teach us that family is forever and that we can trust each other and God to carry us through. A few days ago Kody told me "London is your reward from God for being such a great mom." I think she is a gift to all of us and I am so thankful that God interrupted my plans. So the inn is officially full and my job promotion keeps the days very busy, but I am so in love with my family and thankful for the opportunity to be wife and mama to this crew. Wonder what adventures God has planned for 2014??
Kevin and I had talked about trying to have another baby. I say "try" because we did LOTS of trying to conceive #1 and #2 and figured that pattern would repeat itself. We decided to table the discussion until the summer of 2013. See, all nice and neat and planned. I picture God giggling a bit at us at this point in the story.
I have an amazing metabolism that is such a blessing during the non pregnant seasons of life. However it turns into a nightmare once my body starts growing a baby.
I watched the numbers on the scale drop as my belly grew and struggled with the never ending feeling of being on the teacups at Disney. Many people experience an increase in saliva in their mouths right before they vomit. I felt like I was going to vomit constantly and the saliva was a never ending fountain that made me gag even more. My bed and I became one. I missed my kids. I couldn't even get through reading one story without running for a container. Kody was the only one who could lay with me because the other three were too wiggly and would make the nausea unbearable. The raw truth: this season was pretty dark. I longed for sleep and cried when I awoke in the morning. So many people loved on my family during those months and we are all forever grateful. It is amazing now to look at London's sweet face and know that she was right there with me during that difficult time.
She has changed us forever. Every single one of us.
I think Kody fell in love with her the moment he found out I was pregnant. Oldest child and caretaker of the crew and, many days, me too. He has a beautiful soul that is so tender with his baby sister. He has mastered the bounce walk and can get London to settle down, which is a lifesaver for me. Kody is my constant perspective. Every time I see London in his arms I am reminded how quickly the years go by and how important it is to cherish every day with them.
London and Tyler have a connection that goes beyond the similar features. She thinks he is hilarious and he thinks she is the cutest thing in the world. In true Tyler fashion he wants to constantly be touching her and when told to back off his reply is always, "but she is just soooo cute!" He will run in after school yelling, "where's the baby, where's the baby, where's the baby". His attachment to her far exceeded my expectations.
I worried about this one. Five months home and I became pregnant. I often wonder what she must have thought about this crazy family she came into. As London grew in my belly, Elie learned about what forever family really meant. This baby would stay with us forever, she would be her sister forever... just like she would be my daughter forever. This news is always met with cheering and then me trying not to cry. Elie is a natural with holding babies after years of being responsible to care for younger children in China. She loves her little sister and was so happy that London was a girl.
The pregnancy brought up so many questions for this little four year old. Questions I didn't think I would be facing already in our journey together. Some hard talks, some tears, some joys and lots of processing of things that four year olds shouldn't have to think about. Faith has decided that she is happy that I am her mommy and she loves being a part of this family. I know that there is still healing needed in that beautiful little heart but I am thankful for the foundation we laid this year. She loves being a big sister and was actually telling people she is happy to not be the baby anymore. She is home with me this year and so she gets to spend the most time with London out of all the kids. She is learning how to be gentle with London and how to be a big helper. And I have learned that she is still only four and should not be left alone with the baby. London is in awe of Faith and loves to stare at her. I love the look London gives Faith, pure admiration. I am looking forward to seeing their friendship grow as London changes into a little girl.
2013 was a wild ride for Team Judkins. There were moments when I questioned God's timing and if we would all emotionally survive. But like most things in life, the hard times are what bond us together. It is the rough patches that teach us that family is forever and that we can trust each other and God to carry us through. A few days ago Kody told me "London is your reward from God for being such a great mom." I think she is a gift to all of us and I am so thankful that God interrupted my plans. So the inn is officially full and my job promotion keeps the days very busy, but I am so in love with my family and thankful for the opportunity to be wife and mama to this crew. Wonder what adventures God has planned for 2014??
Loved reading this. Several times this month, the thought has come to me that last Christmas, we had no idea that a baby would be added to our family. It has been so special to me see how the four older kids have welcomed and loved London. I, too, wonder what God has planned for 2014. How marvelous to know that He is in control!
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