a different perspective





Being a parent changes the way you see the world.  You begin to filter everything through the lens of your child's eye.  Every image, every word, every experience.

I grew up reading this book.  It was one in a regular rotation in my reading selection.  I even read the book to my boys when they were younger.  I never thought anything about this silly bird and his quest to find his mama.  All that changed the first time I read it to Faith.  The story line goes something like this.... Mama bird flies off and leaves baby bird all alone.  Baby bird is scared and cannot find his mama.  Baby bird searches and searches until he finds the mama that looks just like him.

The words stuck in my throat as I read her the story.  And then out of the house it went, never to be seen again.  It was not a story line that needed to be read and reread in our home.  There have been others that were sent to the recycling bin for similar reasons... along with movies as well.  Most of the Disney movies are totally inappropriate for children who have experienced loss.  Things I never thought about until God blessed me with  my two girls.

Now I have a confession to make....

Recently at a doctor's appointment Faith pulled this book out of the book bin in the waiting room and brought it to me to read.  I was able to stall and distract her into a sticker book instead.  This is an office we visit every week.  So, with the encouragement of another adoptive mama, on our next visit I smuggled the book out and replaced it with two new ones.  It isn't that we hide the past from our children.  In fact, we are very open and honest with our girls about their stories.  But we want to provide books and shows that help them to explore their identity in a more positive way.

I'm sure that Mr. Eastman did not mean to create a story that would pour salt into the wound of a grieving child... just as I am sure that he had no experience with adoption.  Because once you do, you never see the world the same.


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