lingering

The other day Kody was going on and on about how he can't wait until next summer when he will turn 10.  TEN.  And I wanted to press pause and then rewind.  It isn't time for that yet.  But I see it coming.  He is changing.  Some days, it seems, literally right before my eyes.

He is a sleepwalker.  Just like his mama when she was young.  He ends us somewhere he doesn't want to be and needs help to get back to his warm bed.  We have done this dance for many moons together.  But last night it was different.

As I put my arm around him, by big belly changed the way that I usually guide him back up the stairs.  It made me aware of the life growing inside my womb.  In that same instant I realized that when I am doing these nightwalks with number five, number one will be packing up his belongings to leave the nest and fly.

And it made me linger just a little longer when I tucked him back into bed.