What I have learned while doing nothing...

The past two months have been so very different for me and for our family.  Our normal has been totally disrupted by a precious child growing inside my womb.  As I was laying in bed the other day I started thinking about all that I have learned while doing nothing.

1.  My husband loves me with an unconditional love that blows me away.  His sacrifice to me and our kids is incredible.  I would have not have been this understanding and patient.  He is tired, he gets frustrated... but I have never once felt like he was upset with me for how little I have been able to participate in our family life.  I thought about when I was pregnant with Tyler and that first year after he was born.  That season was so difficult in our marriage.  It is incredible to watch the man Kevin has become and I am inspired to know God more because of him.  

2.  Life goes on even when I can't participate in it.  The world has not stopped and little have even noticed that I have dropped off the face of the planet.  And that is a good thing.  It is okay to take breaks, it is okay to get sick, it is okay to step away for awhile.  I have missed being involved in others lives and will cherish it so much more when I am feeling better.  

3.  I need people.  I need community.  I desperately  miss it.  I have often talked badly about facebook but there have been days this past month+ that it has been such a gift for this extrovert who could not talk on the phone or stand up.  I know it does not replace real face to face relationships but it has been a blessing to me. 

4.  My kids can survive with little planned in their lives.  We literally have done nothing for weeks.  The boys have gone to a few of their cousins basketball games thanks to their Grandad and Nana picking them up.  They have gone to school.  They have gone to church.  And that, my friends, is about it.  I guess that is one of the benefits of having four children... they always have a playmate right in their own home.  They have eaten more junk and played more video games then usual and are doing just fine.  Even in spite of the yucky weather.  And as a side benefit of not really going anywhere, besides some sniffles no one has been sick.  

5.  It is important to empty your bladder before the vomiting starts.  Enough said.

6.  I know their are women who feel like this all the time.  Women who have difficulty completing daily tasks and engaging with their families due to physical or mental illness.  I have a whole new appreciation for this group of people and what it takes just to live everyday.

7.  I am so thankful for Faith and Eliana's birthmothers.  I am thankful for the nine months of their lives that they gave to carry my beautiful daughters.  I am so thankful for their sacrifice.  

8.  It is during the difficult times when know God as a dwelling place and refuge and seeking to worship Him take on a whole new beautiful meaning.  

9.  I have some super amazing friends, some of whom I am also related to,  who have cooked and cleaned and helped and sent encouraging notes... always just at the right time.  My mom has come to help us many times even though she and my dad are sharing a car right now.  Last week I had a particularly rough few days and was feeling discouraged.  Then Kevin and Kody came carrying this into the bedroom after I had gone to lay down after dinner...

And an encouraging note from a friend - to bring some color into my grey world.  It meant the world to me.  

10.  I love my children and I miss them terribly.  I miss having fun with them.  I  miss being myself.  They have been so great and understanding.  Every morning they come to my bed bringing me a banana to eat before I try to get up.  And if I don't want a banana, they will gladly go exchange it for whatever piece of fruit  my heart desires.  My most favorite part of being sick though is snuggles from my third grade son who seldom stops to even sit by me these days.  Every night after he gets ready for bed he comes into my room to read me a story and snuggle.  Many nights he falls asleep and rests with me until his daddy puts him in his bed.  

I am beginning to have some times of relief and able to do a little bit more.  I don't want to miss on learning from this season.  I believe I will cherish my husband and my children so much more after this.  

I received a note from a friend a few weeks ago:
"Praying God's grace is sufficient for you today.  Hang in there, normal life will return someday and be so beautiful."  

I believe this to be true with all of my being.  

Popular posts from this blog

when you don't feel compassion

more than we ask or imagine

trying to live simply in a big house