Baby Judkins #5

"Behold, children are a gift of the LORD,
The fruit of the womb is a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,
So are children of one's youth.
How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them"
~ Psalm 127

We are excited to announce that God has blessed us with another child.  This time there will be no paperwork or plane ride.  We have no picture to share or past story to explain.  This time, baby number 5, has been placed in my womb.  I have been through ever emotion under the sun the past few weeks, but overall I am excited.  And the rest of the Judkins team is over the moon.

The symptoms had been obvious for atleast a week or more, but I was in a bit of denial.  I decided to finally just go buy a pregnancy test because either I was pregnant or their was something horribly wrong with me.  I went to the Walgreens up the road.  It is always empty and I figured it was my best shot at not seeing anyone I knew.  I couldn't believe I was buying a pregnancy test.  It has been 7 years since the last time saw those two pink lines.  It isn't that there has never been an opportunity for it to happen in the past 7 years, it just hasn't.  Through the adoption of our two girls we prayed hard for God to close my womb knowing that for their particular situation the door would close if I was to conceive a child.  However the desire always lingered in the corners of our hearts.  This past year Kevin and I both felt led to begin to pray for child number five and for clear direction.  To be honest it was scary to think about being pregnant while caring for four children.  The first two times around were not pretty.  We started to hear God say it would once again be a walk of faith.  Would we chose to step out in obedience and leave the results in His hands?  Or would we cower in fear?

On my drive home from Walgreens my thoughts were swirling.  I remembered Kevin coming in after a run during Christmas break.  God clearly spoke to Him while He was running.  He told Kevin that there was a baby coming and to not be scared because it was going to be okay.  I was full of questions.  What did this mean?  Where was the baby coming from?  Kevin didn't have any answers.  We began to take a serious look at our finances and thinking of ways we could afford to buy a larger home.  A home where the state of Virginia would allow us to adopt or foster another baby.

I walked quietly into our house carrying the test kit.  Kevin and the kids were upstairs playing.  I knew the best time to test was in the morning but I just couldn't wait another second.  The box said to wait three minutes for a result.  Within 3 seconds two dark pink lines colored the window on the test.  I fell to the floor.  I cried out to God.  We hadn't made a final decision about where baby  number five was going to come from.  And while, yes, I do know how babies are made.... there had been plenty of opportunities in the past that had not produced a child.  I was in a bit of shock.

I stayed in that bathroom for about twenty minutes and then made my way upstairs.   Kevin and I locked eyes.  He asked if I had already done it.  I said nothing and walked into the kitchen away from the kids.  He followed me in and I nodded yes.  He was so excited and his excitement began to melt any nervousness in my heart.  A baby.  We are going to have a baby.

The kids are beyond excited.  They tell everyone we see...."My mommy has a baby in her tummy."  They have been so loving and helpful.  Kody is constantly monitoring my food choices and making sure everything that enters my mouth is good for the baby.  As oldest child he has staked a claim on being the first one to hold the baby.  Tyler is full of questions and always ready to get me a glass of water.  Elie just constantly giggles about the baby and had called first dibs on feeding the baby and having her picture taken with him.  Faith is very excited to get the chance to be a big sister and loves to point out that my tummy is get big.  The boys and Faith want a boy and Elie goes back and forth.  Kody's biggest wish is for a child with blond hair like him because, as he puts it, "everyone else in our family has brown hair".  The joy and excitement from every member of our family is such a blessing.  I had no idea how they would react to the news of adding one more to our family.

I feel gross but functional.  All the things that pregnancy brings... pains and aches, nausea and vomiting, huge emotional swings, and I am just soooo tired.  Kody reminded me this weekend ... "in the end you will have a baby to love for the rest of your life, so it is worth it."  Love that boy.  I am only 7.5 weeks pregnant.  I know it is early to tell the world but I am desperate for your prayers and support. And if you see me there is no hiding the fact that there is a baby growing inside my body.

Now for the big question that everyone wants to know....are we going to move?  We are open, we are praying, we are considering many possibilities.  We would love to have a home where in the years to come more children who need families could join our team.  So we are seeking God if now is the time to do that.  Thank you for the love that many of you have already shown to our family and the joy over our amazing news.  We are humbled that God has once again chosen us to be parents and look forward to the adventure ahead.