Sisters

When we began to pursue Eliana, Kevin and I both could not shake the idea that somehow this little girl was going to be a part of Faith's healing and Faith would do the same for her.  Not something that would happen instantaneous but over their lifetime together being sisters.  It is a crazy idea, really, to take a little girl from Ethiopia and then another little girl from  China and make them sisters in an American family.  And then to have them come all mixed up and backwards. The youngest child arrived first to stake her claim on her family and then the older sister arrived two years later.  We knew upsetting birth order could be difficult. Our agency required us to read and read and read about how terribly awful this could all turn out for our family.  But we truly didn't think it was going to be that big of a deal.  Faith would still be the baby and the boys would still be the oldest.  We would just be inserting someone in the hole between Tyler and Faith.  

If anyone was going to freak out with the upset it would be Tyler.  Atleast that was what I thought before we went to China.  But Tyler actually rolled with the new addition better than anyone else in the family, including myself.  I never expected our family dynamic to play out the way that it has the past month.  I knew it would be hard on Faith for us to be away and to now share the spotlight, but I just didn't realize the extent of how difficult that was going to be for her.  She was angry and her anger spilled on everyone but mostly onto Elie.  Faith had not desire to be someone's little sister when Elie came home.  Eliana had looked at Faith's pictures everyday for two months believing that she was going to have a little sister to care for - just like the other little ones she had helped care for in China.  She wanted to follow Faith around and help her and do everything that she was doing.  And Faith wanted none of it.  This resulted in what I will just describe as chaos.  I know things take time.  I know that this was all normal.  But just because something is normal doesn't make it easy to live through.  There have been moments when I wondered if we had ruined Faith or if I would ever see the old Faith again.  I missed my little girl and wasn't sure who this monster was that we had returned home to.   

As the days have passed the two girls seem to be working out their relationship with one another and figuring out their new roles in the family.  While we were all sad to watch the boys head off to school, in my heart I knew this was going to be a beautiful time for the girls to bond with each other.  And I think also for my own heart to knit with theirs as well.  At the end of our first day together my mind began to daydream of what I would have been doing if we had never chased after these two precious little girls.  Maybe I would have spent the day going back to work, cleaning my house, finishing some projects, spending time with friends, out at the gym, teaching a class.... maybe it would even mean that the laundry would be done and there wouldn't be any dirty dishes in my sink.  The possibilities would have been limitless with seven hours available without any kids in the house.  But God instead gave me a gift and filled my day with this.....

We played for over an hour with playdough.  

We went for a walk, soaked in the sunshine, stopped to pick flowers and watch bugs and to dig in the mulch at the playground.  

These girls love to swing.  We walk to the park all the time.  The only problem is it only has two swings and I have four swing lovers.  Today, with no competition from their brothers, they both got to swing the whole time.... for as long as they wanted... without having to share.  

It may sound boring or simple to some people.  But to me it was a perfect day.  A day with two precious little girls who giggled together and enjoyed just being.  Our second morning together, today, was spent visiting a pediatric neurosurgeon.  Not just any neurosurgeon, though, it is the same man who operated on Faith.  He stepped into the waiting room, took one look at Faith and said, "you're the little girl with the huge dermoid cyst that I removed."  He was amazed at how well her head has healed.  And he let us know there is absolutely no reason for his services with Eliana.  That's right, no need for any surgery.  Just lots and lots of therapy.  Which I think will include some walks to the park to dig in the dirt, climb up the ladders and swing on the swings.  And maybe in the midst of it all they will discover the gift of being a sister.