Trying to start a New Year

Kevin and I agreed that this year we were going to simplify our lives...cut out the unneeded and unnecessary things that clog our hearts, minds and time. We were going to spend more time together and say no more...even to good things when they are not the best for our family. What we did not know is that the first week of this year would contain such drama. There was stress from our church, our friends and our family. Phone calls, after phone calls, after phone calls, emails, meetings, talks after talks. And all of this following an incredibly hard week of fighting with doctors, nurses and therapist, talking tough with my grandpa, and navigating between emotion and reality. My grandpa was being held prisoner in a horrible rehab facility against his will and the will of the family. His dignity stripped and his care third rate. My grandfather was finally released to go back home on Wednesday. Where after less than 24 hours, he ended up in the hospital only to encounter more drama. My three year old picked this week to test authority at every chance possible, including throwing a major temper tantrum in the mall. The boys left the door open and my dog ran away.....thankfully, she was returned by a woman who lives down the street. Kevin discovered that he has to have surgery for a hernia and our plans for a snowboarding getaway are now in ashes. Things that we thought were, are not. The plans we had for the year seem a bit topsy turvey. And in the midst of it all we discovered that we have mice....which I guess with everything else going on was God's gift to us this week to keep us laughing. I was up late one evening earlier this week answering email and eating a late night snack. As I typed away, out of the corner of my eye I saw a dark object running across the floor and thought "a bug". However my next thought was, "too big for a bug". I turned my head just in time to see a dark mouse run around the corner and under my fridge. These clever mice have stolen not only bait, but also an entire trap has gone missing. I discoverd their "home" while cleaning out a closet I think we may be getting somewhere. We are just hoping that the trap is not attached to a dead mouse in one of our walls.

So now at the end of this crazy week, here is where my heart is at......
I have an incredible husband who keeps me anchored when the world is chaos
The moments I have with my boys are precious and fleeting
i cherish the few people in my life who let me be the one who falls apart and doesn't always get things perfect

God knew this week would happen, He was not surprised and He has held me through it all.
Some of the pain is necessary to help me weed out things in my life that need to go, things that I would not have let go of otherwise
Sometimes He calls us to walk a road that won't make sense to other people and that's okay

All the heartache, confusion, and frustration that I have gone through this week is still only just a small glimpse into the heartache, confusion and frustration that my daughter is experiencing right now. And in that I am thankful for a week like this that will help me to more effectively love her and understand her own heart.

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